I'm in my last week of my last substantial break in undergrad, preparing to enter my final semester. I'm applying to grad school and prepping my resume. And you know what?
I'm okay with it.
I have no idea when it happened, but something shifted and I'm excited for life. I mean, I used to have that a little, but now I don't have reservations. I don't know where they went. Undergrad's been great - best four years of my life so far. And it's that "so far" that I've keyed in on. Life's just gonna keep getting better! I have no idea where I'm going to be next year. And guess what?
I'm okay with that too!
Serenity is such a strange feeling after this past semester. As a compulsive perfectionist, I've spent so much of my life stressed or worrying, it's ridiculous. Uncertainty has always scared me as a rule, given my need to be in control. So I guess it makes sense that with this serenity concerning my future, I feel empowered: I could be anywhere in a year! If I don't get a fellowship for grad school or just decide not to go, I think I'll apply for jobs in NYC. Maybe I will follow my friend towards San Francisco and see if Silicon Valley holds any promise for me. Maybe I'll still be around here. Who knows?
This semester is going to be great. I've got the lightest courseload I've ever taken, including a couple classes I'm curious about. Two of my friends and I are teaching a short course on the Art of Video Game Design. I'm proposing to direct a game for the student game developers club. Today I finally got the score I'm conducting for concert band (Tsunami by Vince Gassi). I've got I'm so excited for all of it, this semester and beyond, and it's a great feeling.
(The post title is also relevant because I've gotten my parents hooked on Firefly. They've named our family's new laptop Serenity. My sisters both watched the first two episodes and I think will return to it.)
And I got a sewing machine for Christmas, which opens up all sorts of new crafty opportunities (cosplay!). This break, I've actually pulled out the guitar and learned another song ("Build That Wall (Zia's Theme)" from Bastion). Fitocracy has me exercising again - the roleplaying style mechanics are going to keep me coming back! (And watching Doctor Who makes the elliptical so much easier). Life is awesome, guys! Bring it on! :-)
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Home for the Holidays
That past semester was the worst. Way too much work, too many idiotic group members, too much pressure. But it's behind me now. I'm sitting at home with the Christmas tree lit, the Decemberists playing, and the kitchen filled with the aroma of Magic Cookie Bars.
It's good to be home.
There are some things I have to do over break to get ready for next semester and for next year, yes, but that shouldn't be too bad. For now, it's relaxing, holiday baking, and writing. And video games. (I have a candy cane house in Terraria!) Decompressing is important.
I am a little nervous about next year. I'm considering returning to the same school for a master's degree, though I haven't really looked anywhere else, to be fair. On the other hand, I'll be sprucing up my resume and sending it out as well. It's like senior year of high school all over again, but a little more daunting. At the same time, I'm cautiously excited about it. Having my own place to live instead of hopping between a dorm room and what is now a playroom at home will be awesome.
Mom's brought up Brazil. Apparently they're really building right now, and it might be a good place for a young civil engineer and geologist to move. I know nothing about Brazil except that I don't speak the language (Portuguese - so close!) and neither does Mike. Well, we'll have to see where life takes us.
For now, I'm going to pursue my creative projects and pretend that I won't also need a grownup job on top of it.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Holding down the fort
I was thinking during band practice today when the directors had the low brass play our background rhythm for "Edge of Glory" (yes, the Gaga song). It's a bit weird to read, but once you figure it out, it grooves. I remembered when I was playing flute or piccolo, I would just tune out whenever the director worked with the low brass. After all, their parts were so boring.
But now, I love playing trombone. Rocking out on the baseline can be tons of fun, even if you'll never get the recognition that the hotshot trumpets do. Because they couldn't do it without you. And even if they don't realize it, you do. And hopefully so do your directors.
Some of my favorite songs to play are actually the slower ballads. Something about having the sustained notes underneath a melody, whether it's a soloist or a section, is really neat. I like to close my eyes and picture the sounds as wisps of color in the air, and see my sound rise up and support the melody, pushing it higher into the air. Often, the most musical parts can be found in the chords behind the melody. There was one particular measure in "Summon the Heroes," where, under the trumpet soloist, the first trombones held a whole note, the seconds and thirds had moving quarters, and the baritones had corresponding eighth notes. It was such a neat moment in the music that most people wouldn't notice consciously, but that's one of the beauties of music.
In sixth grade I sat there with my flute and wondered why anyone would ever want to play a non-melody instrument. Many years later and just a little bit wiser, I get now that some of the best parts aren't melody. I've been so jealous of horn counter-melodies on so many occasions. They really get the best "Hollywood lines," to quote my director. And some of the oom-pah tuba parts and walking basslines they get make me jealous. Music really only happens when everyone contributes, from the percussion to the bass lines to the chords, counter-melodies, melodies, harmonies, ostinatos... the list goes on. And that's what makes music truly beautiful.
I've often found that playing a piece well with a group can be a truly transcendental experience. I feel connected with the other players on a fundamental level in a way that I haven't found anywhere else. Music is a universal expression of the soul, and I feel that our shared humanity connects us as we create these sounds weaving in the air, carrying our dreams, our lives, our stories - for that is what we put into the music that we play.
But now, I love playing trombone. Rocking out on the baseline can be tons of fun, even if you'll never get the recognition that the hotshot trumpets do. Because they couldn't do it without you. And even if they don't realize it, you do. And hopefully so do your directors.
Some of my favorite songs to play are actually the slower ballads. Something about having the sustained notes underneath a melody, whether it's a soloist or a section, is really neat. I like to close my eyes and picture the sounds as wisps of color in the air, and see my sound rise up and support the melody, pushing it higher into the air. Often, the most musical parts can be found in the chords behind the melody. There was one particular measure in "Summon the Heroes," where, under the trumpet soloist, the first trombones held a whole note, the seconds and thirds had moving quarters, and the baritones had corresponding eighth notes. It was such a neat moment in the music that most people wouldn't notice consciously, but that's one of the beauties of music.
In sixth grade I sat there with my flute and wondered why anyone would ever want to play a non-melody instrument. Many years later and just a little bit wiser, I get now that some of the best parts aren't melody. I've been so jealous of horn counter-melodies on so many occasions. They really get the best "Hollywood lines," to quote my director. And some of the oom-pah tuba parts and walking basslines they get make me jealous. Music really only happens when everyone contributes, from the percussion to the bass lines to the chords, counter-melodies, melodies, harmonies, ostinatos... the list goes on. And that's what makes music truly beautiful.
I've often found that playing a piece well with a group can be a truly transcendental experience. I feel connected with the other players on a fundamental level in a way that I haven't found anywhere else. Music is a universal expression of the soul, and I feel that our shared humanity connects us as we create these sounds weaving in the air, carrying our dreams, our lives, our stories - for that is what we put into the music that we play.
Friday, November 4, 2011
Legitimate writer status: Achieved!
So over the summer, one of my projects was to write and submit a story for the second Machine of Death anthology (www.machineofdeath.net). It was a great experience for a (still young) writer - I had never edited a story to that degree, or indeed really shown one to other people. Boy, was that terrifying. Fear of rejection is the main thing that's kept me back from pursuing these creative things (and more than a few other things in life), so it was really difficult to hand it off to other people and accept criticism of it.
Overall, I think it turned out well, but could have used some work. Still, I'm proud of the end result, and was (yes) a little disappointed when I got the e-mail this morning that it didn't make the anthology. With 1,958 submissions and only 30 stories chosen, it doesn't surprise me. The best part is, this doesn't bother me - it's just motivating me to try again. It was a form letter, and I'm not sure if this was their only rejection letter, but it does also include reassurance that a lot of the stories we're great but they don't have room in the anthology. Apparently my story is still in consideration for possible future projects, but we'll have to see on that one. It'll probably take a while.
Smiling after getting a rejection is a little odd, I suppose. But it's not like I really expected to hit it right straight out of the gate. Writers are supposed to suffer - it's where we get our best material. :-) One thing about this really stressful semester is that I'm discovering what I really miss about having free time, and I love writing. I love creating in many senses, but writing, creating worlds, characters, stories, may just be my favorite. My dad mentioned to me last night one of the story ideas I came up with in sixth grade. There's still potential there. And my other characters all keep growing with me.
Step one, survive this semester. Step two, figure out what I'm doing next year. After that, I should have free time again. I'm missing NaNoWriMo again, since school and marching band take up too much of my time, but maybe next year will be better. And if I start planning now... :-) For now, maybe I'll get a picture or two together for the MoD evidence photo contest. And maybe do some homework.
For those interested, the full story is after the jump. Enjoy, and let me know what you think! I welcome any constructive criticism and would love to keep improving. (Basic background to the anthology can be found at the MoD website, link above.)
Overall, I think it turned out well, but could have used some work. Still, I'm proud of the end result, and was (yes) a little disappointed when I got the e-mail this morning that it didn't make the anthology. With 1,958 submissions and only 30 stories chosen, it doesn't surprise me. The best part is, this doesn't bother me - it's just motivating me to try again. It was a form letter, and I'm not sure if this was their only rejection letter, but it does also include reassurance that a lot of the stories we're great but they don't have room in the anthology. Apparently my story is still in consideration for possible future projects, but we'll have to see on that one. It'll probably take a while.
Smiling after getting a rejection is a little odd, I suppose. But it's not like I really expected to hit it right straight out of the gate. Writers are supposed to suffer - it's where we get our best material. :-) One thing about this really stressful semester is that I'm discovering what I really miss about having free time, and I love writing. I love creating in many senses, but writing, creating worlds, characters, stories, may just be my favorite. My dad mentioned to me last night one of the story ideas I came up with in sixth grade. There's still potential there. And my other characters all keep growing with me.
Step one, survive this semester. Step two, figure out what I'm doing next year. After that, I should have free time again. I'm missing NaNoWriMo again, since school and marching band take up too much of my time, but maybe next year will be better. And if I start planning now... :-) For now, maybe I'll get a picture or two together for the MoD evidence photo contest. And maybe do some homework.
For those interested, the full story is after the jump. Enjoy, and let me know what you think! I welcome any constructive criticism and would love to keep improving. (Basic background to the anthology can be found at the MoD website, link above.)
Monday, September 26, 2011
Checking In
Well, it's been a while since I last wrote. This really is going to be a busy semester - whoever told me that fourth year was easy straight-up lied. The biggest problem I've encountered is that most of my classes are based around long-term deadlines, which are hard to pace out, particularly when two or three of them involve coordinating group work.
The Android game is coming along well, though because of difficulties getting the engine set up, I haven't been able to contribute as much to the coding as I would have liked. I have mostly been working on writeups, assets, and level designs. It's a top-down stealth game, so the pretty standard avoid the guards and get the gems sort of fare. It's not terribly original, but it's the best we could come up with that would satisfy the requirements of the project. We are learning some interesting stuff in lecture and I'm excited to jump into the XNA (Xbox) project that we're getting assigned next week.
Capstone is proving to be a somewhat frustrating project only in that we don't seem to know enough to complete each deliverable. Because the course is taught by ten different faculty members / professional engineers, it's a little hard to track down a lecturer for questions. We also haven't gotten feedback yet on our initial architectural design, which is worrying because we have to plow ahead with putting the buildings on the site like that. Hopefully he doesn't have any major issues with it or we're going to have a lot of catching up to do.
I decided to go with an independent thesis project, which is creating more work for me, but I'm more excited about what I'm writing about. I'm going to get into the lab this week and start working with the data, as well as hitting the books to find sources for the bibliography I have to turn in next week. The fun never ends...
Outside of that has largely been marching band - our last show was fantastic. The theme was Superheroes, and we played the theme from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, the Danny Elfman Batman theme, and James Bond. It's up there on the list of my favorite marching shows, definitely. Next up is Rolling in the Deep and Party Rock anthem, which sounds like fun (though the dance we have to do looks a little odd...). After that is another Disney show, and later on we've been promised a video game theme. All in all, it sounds like a good year for band!
With so much going on, I really haven't had time to consider what I'm doing after graduation. I didn't have much time to spend at the fall career fair or to spruce up my resume beforehand. Really, I'm still in denial about this being my last year. I'm not sure that I'm ready to go out into the world. Then again, senior year of high school, I didn't think I was ready for college.
Fall break is in two weeks, so hopefully I can make it til then without cracking. For now, I've got Carbon Leaf's live acoustic album in the background and some problem sets to get back to.
The Android game is coming along well, though because of difficulties getting the engine set up, I haven't been able to contribute as much to the coding as I would have liked. I have mostly been working on writeups, assets, and level designs. It's a top-down stealth game, so the pretty standard avoid the guards and get the gems sort of fare. It's not terribly original, but it's the best we could come up with that would satisfy the requirements of the project. We are learning some interesting stuff in lecture and I'm excited to jump into the XNA (Xbox) project that we're getting assigned next week.
Capstone is proving to be a somewhat frustrating project only in that we don't seem to know enough to complete each deliverable. Because the course is taught by ten different faculty members / professional engineers, it's a little hard to track down a lecturer for questions. We also haven't gotten feedback yet on our initial architectural design, which is worrying because we have to plow ahead with putting the buildings on the site like that. Hopefully he doesn't have any major issues with it or we're going to have a lot of catching up to do.
I decided to go with an independent thesis project, which is creating more work for me, but I'm more excited about what I'm writing about. I'm going to get into the lab this week and start working with the data, as well as hitting the books to find sources for the bibliography I have to turn in next week. The fun never ends...
Outside of that has largely been marching band - our last show was fantastic. The theme was Superheroes, and we played the theme from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, the Danny Elfman Batman theme, and James Bond. It's up there on the list of my favorite marching shows, definitely. Next up is Rolling in the Deep and Party Rock anthem, which sounds like fun (though the dance we have to do looks a little odd...). After that is another Disney show, and later on we've been promised a video game theme. All in all, it sounds like a good year for band!
With so much going on, I really haven't had time to consider what I'm doing after graduation. I didn't have much time to spend at the fall career fair or to spruce up my resume beforehand. Really, I'm still in denial about this being my last year. I'm not sure that I'm ready to go out into the world. Then again, senior year of high school, I didn't think I was ready for college.
Fall break is in two weeks, so hopefully I can make it til then without cracking. For now, I've got Carbon Leaf's live acoustic album in the background and some problem sets to get back to.
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Penultimate Semester
I don't really have anything profound to write here at the moment - I'm just trying to get into the swing of a new semester and enjoying seeing people again.
My classes are a little intimidating: thesis, capstone, Water Chemistry (dual-listed as a grad course), Traffic Operations (same), and Introduction to Game Design. Woooo. We got our capstone groups on Thursday, so that looks like it'll be pretty good. The civil engineering project is the design of an office park and it's set up to be close to the actual design and bidding process. We've received our RFP (request for proposals) and lecturers throughout the semester will make sure we know enough to complete each stage of the design. I'm kinda excited about it.
Our first project for game design is for the Android phone, and we'll get our teams and the assignment for that tomorrow. I'm really excited but also a little nervous - I'm hoping I'm not in over my head in terms of programming. Better brush up on my Java... We also get to do a game in Microsoft XNA (for Xbox) and for another platform he hasn't decided on yet.
I'm a little confused because none of my classes have given me any real work yet. I've had a little reading for Water Chem and that's it. I haven't known what to do with myself all weekend. (The answer turned out to be a good amount of video games, hanging out, and watching movies.) I'm sure it'll get harder soon enough.
Marching band is off to a pretty good start - I'm both on uniform staff again (yay!) and a drill instructor this year, which means a couple extra meetings a week. Our first show is Earth Wind and Fire, so not one of my favorites, but some of it is pretty fun. The directors haven't told us what any of the other shows are going to be yet, so that's been the cause of much speculation.
Well, fourth year's here, whether I want to admit it or not. Hoping to make the best of it and get involved in other stuff (Hauntings, Student Game Developers, return to swing dancing...) despite my courseload. Now, off to read about water chemistry!
My classes are a little intimidating: thesis, capstone, Water Chemistry (dual-listed as a grad course), Traffic Operations (same), and Introduction to Game Design. Woooo. We got our capstone groups on Thursday, so that looks like it'll be pretty good. The civil engineering project is the design of an office park and it's set up to be close to the actual design and bidding process. We've received our RFP (request for proposals) and lecturers throughout the semester will make sure we know enough to complete each stage of the design. I'm kinda excited about it.
Our first project for game design is for the Android phone, and we'll get our teams and the assignment for that tomorrow. I'm really excited but also a little nervous - I'm hoping I'm not in over my head in terms of programming. Better brush up on my Java... We also get to do a game in Microsoft XNA (for Xbox) and for another platform he hasn't decided on yet.
I'm a little confused because none of my classes have given me any real work yet. I've had a little reading for Water Chem and that's it. I haven't known what to do with myself all weekend. (The answer turned out to be a good amount of video games, hanging out, and watching movies.) I'm sure it'll get harder soon enough.
Marching band is off to a pretty good start - I'm both on uniform staff again (yay!) and a drill instructor this year, which means a couple extra meetings a week. Our first show is Earth Wind and Fire, so not one of my favorites, but some of it is pretty fun. The directors haven't told us what any of the other shows are going to be yet, so that's been the cause of much speculation.
Well, fourth year's here, whether I want to admit it or not. Hoping to make the best of it and get involved in other stuff (Hauntings, Student Game Developers, return to swing dancing...) despite my courseload. Now, off to read about water chemistry!
Thursday, August 4, 2011
One week left
Oh jeez. Band camp starts in a week. That means that I start my fourth and final year of college. I take the GRE in a few weeks, by which point I need to know what grad schools I'm sending scores to. I also need to finish updating and tweaking my resume, not to mention beginning to research companies that are coming to the career fair in two months. Oh, and I turn 21 six weeks from today.
I have a tendency to panic and look at the big picture of everything coming up rather than realizing that I still have one more band camp to enjoy, one last year of undergrad to live through. And hey, in six weeks, I'll be able to buy alcohol to cope. :-P
So what am I doing with this last week of nearly responsibility-free freedom? Not sure yet. Likely more crafts - I'm close to finishing Toothless. Also more Doctor Who and Eureka, TV shows I'm watching with my friends. No, I guess I don't have any grand plans, though I may jaunt home for a visit. I probably won't do anything too exciting, because I refuse to believe that my childhood is ending. Only the lame parts, like early bedtimes, curfews, homework. Ooh, homework. This is my last year of homework (barring the possibility of grad school)! Also, I have a really hard time coming up with lame parts of childhood. My parents are pretty awesome.
I have so many projects in the pipeline. I have no idea how or when I'm going to get around to them all. I got a capo for my guitar yesterday, so I've been working on that some more. When I mentioned to a friend that I'm really gonna work on guitar this year, he asked "With, what, the -2 hours of time you'll have free this semester?" Which really is a good point, the way I run my life. It's gonna be a busy one.
I am up to 6th on the waitlist for the game design course I want to take. I ran into one of my professors in Kroger the other day and it sounds like that'll be a good class. Two other classes I'm taking should help me narrow down what field I want to go into. And there's always marching band - our first show is Earth, Wind, and Fire.
Now to go bake stuff and figure out what food I need to eat before I move out next week. :-)
I have a tendency to panic and look at the big picture of everything coming up rather than realizing that I still have one more band camp to enjoy, one last year of undergrad to live through. And hey, in six weeks, I'll be able to buy alcohol to cope. :-P
So what am I doing with this last week of nearly responsibility-free freedom? Not sure yet. Likely more crafts - I'm close to finishing Toothless. Also more Doctor Who and Eureka, TV shows I'm watching with my friends. No, I guess I don't have any grand plans, though I may jaunt home for a visit. I probably won't do anything too exciting, because I refuse to believe that my childhood is ending. Only the lame parts, like early bedtimes, curfews, homework. Ooh, homework. This is my last year of homework (barring the possibility of grad school)! Also, I have a really hard time coming up with lame parts of childhood. My parents are pretty awesome.
I have so many projects in the pipeline. I have no idea how or when I'm going to get around to them all. I got a capo for my guitar yesterday, so I've been working on that some more. When I mentioned to a friend that I'm really gonna work on guitar this year, he asked "With, what, the -2 hours of time you'll have free this semester?" Which really is a good point, the way I run my life. It's gonna be a busy one.
I am up to 6th on the waitlist for the game design course I want to take. I ran into one of my professors in Kroger the other day and it sounds like that'll be a good class. Two other classes I'm taking should help me narrow down what field I want to go into. And there's always marching band - our first show is Earth, Wind, and Fire.
Now to go bake stuff and figure out what food I need to eat before I move out next week. :-)
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